I wanted Finn to be able to talk to me about all of his fears and fears about moving, and I knew that self-efficacy can help with that too. It promotes open parent-child communication and helps children to directly and indirectly resist peer pressure. Research shows that if a child believes they can resist peer pressure, they are much more likely to do so, and are also more likely to speak to their parents about these episodes of peer pressure as they occur. On the other hand, children who don’t feel like they can resist peer pressure tend not to talk to their parents about the things they do outside of the home.
Lack of self-efficacy is a risk factor for substance abuse and other negative health outcomes, but when converted into their opposite and equal force, a strong sense of self-efficacy, it can be one of the most powerful protective factors we can give our children. Here are some practical ways parents can improve children’s perceptions of their own self-efficacy and help children with low self-efficacy get back on track:
Start with yourself.
Model, model, model Self-efficacy for your children. Challenge your own claims of “I can’t” with “I can’t yet,” then turn that perspective outward on your children. This helps children to believe that competence is not innate, but learned and often hard-won.
Give children skills.
Praise alone does not give your child a sense of self-efficacy or competence. These things come from actual experience of trying to do, failing, trying again, and being successful. Give children age-appropriate assignments that will help them stay engaged and challenged, and give them opportunities to thrive. Teach them how to cook dinner from start to finish and see what they create for themselves. Encourage your teen to take the family car into the garage and have the rattle behind the dashboard fixed.
Project optimism.
Optimism is about more than seeing a glass half full. It’s a mindset that has a very real impact on both physical and mental health. Optimistic children are better able to withstand learned helplessness and depression, while pessimists are much more likely to give in to feelings of helplessness and, consequently, are at much greater risk of suffering from a variety of negative mental and physical health outcomes. According to psychologist Martin Seligman, author of The Optimistic Child, pessimistic children see obstacles as permanent, ubiquitous, and their fault. Optimistic children, on the other hand, view setbacks as temporary, specific, and due to behaviors that can be changed. Dr. Seligman explains, “Children learn some of their pessimism from their parents and teachers. It is therefore very important that you model optimism for your children as a first step. “
Make mistakes specific, but generalize success.
Lead children to optimism by making their success as general as possible. If your daughter is having a good day in math class, you will help her globalize that achievement. Instead of “I did well in math class because I was paying attention,” I go to “School is going well because I do all of my assignments on time.” Help her extend her success beyond the limits of a class or one day.
Be precise in your praise.
General praise like “Good job!” Is useless when it comes to boosting self-efficacy in children because it has no real meaning. Aim for behavioral praise that reinforces the practices you want to promote, such as: B. “I am so proud of you that you are sticking to this project even if you have been frustrated.” Behavioral praise describes the desired behavior, is child-specific and offers a positive, clear message.
Don’t go overboard with your praise.
Experts in using behavioral praise in the classroom recommend a praise to correction ratio of 3: 1 or 4: 1, a ratio that I have tried to maintain with my own students and children. I teach and raise older teenagers, but this guideline is effective for children of all ages. Research shows that not only does this encourage good behavior, but it also creates a sense of community and positivity that helps children hear our constructive criticism when it is inevitable.
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